Beans don't burn on the grill
It took a whole lot of tryin'
Just to get up that hill
So here I am. Almost exactly two years to the day that I set off from Canada to embark on a path of self-discovery and get my groove back. Quit the job. Said goodbye to family and friends. And gave away most of my UFC DVDs. The journey had begun and I was going to document my new life on-line for the world to see. Yeah, right. But better late than never (maybe) and I'll give it the old college try and see if we can't come up with something that's.....something. Now before I veer off and launch into a diatribe on the failures of the McGuinty government, let's make this easy and address a few questions, pamphlet-style...
1. Why a blog? And why now? Especially since people probably stopped giving a shit about 18 months ago.
Fair enough, fair enough. The intent was always there from get-go. I mean, what better way to keep friends and well-wishers up-to-date on my escapades than through a simple and easy-to-run weblog? How hard can that be? It's not hard. It's not. But my life-long stumbling blocks arrived in the form of my love of procrastination and the fact that drinking in front of the TV trumps just about anything. Eventually though, ambition (and shame) did rear it's head. I figured a blog may be helpful to someone considering a career-change, or a youngster looking to the culinary world as a vocation. I could provide guidance or hope or - most probably - help friends kill time while at work. Nevertheless, I figured a chronicle of The OCCW could have a permanence in cyberspace. An electronic time capsule if you will. I've been looking at blogs for while now and considering how horrifically boring most of them are, I figured I couldn't do any worse.
And truthfully, I've run out women to facebook-stalk so it was time to channel energies elsewere...
2. Why a chef? Is it because you like pigging out you fat bastard?
I get asked this question most often by people here in the UK. Why would you leave the safe cocoon of white-collared, medical-benefits-entitled, forty-hour-work-week life for the harsh, low-paying, retarted-donkey world of kitchens. I do think about this a lot. Why did I want to become a chef. And I have to go way back. I remember meeting with my Grade 8 guidance counselor Mr. Shepard about career aspirations (this was mandatory and not because I was 12 and confused about my "life plan"). He asked me what I wanted to be and I said "chef". I recall too that he mentioned another classmate wanted to be a chef which made me second-guess my choice - I did quite well academically and this other kid was a loser.
But still, what got me thinking "chef" at that point? My mother's always been a fantastic cook and made me appreciate what food was, especially in comparison to the slop I ate at some friend's homes. And I'm sure there is - as with many in the kitchen profession - some root in Freud's "Oral Fixation". I love eating. I love drinking. And I love clamping on to a boob when I get the rare chance. But ultimately, I have figured out (only just recently) that two people put me on this path.
The first was Jack Tripper. "Three's Company" was the shit at this time and dude was the coolest guy around (RIP John Ritter). And not uncoincidentally, also a chef -
During this same time, after school - when my friends and I weren't beating the shit out of each by practicing pro-wrestling moves - I would come home to the tube and this Canadian Legend. A huge cleaver. Barely-decipherable English. And there wasn't a whole lot that distinguished one dish from the next. But dammit, it was cool -
"Wok the heck". Brilliant. So that's it. Introspection done! One thing to note here is how television influenced a major component of my life. This is actually a running theme through everything. And then many years later Gordon Ramsay came along and said, "Make something of your life you fat, flabby twat!". And here I am.
Although all I ever tell people is some bullshit about art meeting science...
3. What can I expect from The OCCW?
The vision behind "Where's Your Head At?" is to provide insight into the kitchen profession: the atmosphere, the people, the food, the life. And then to weave personal stories through this diary: my travels, new cultural experiences, romances, interesting people, sexual escapades, and....
You know what? Maybe I should be honest with myself. This is going to be a forum for me to talk shit about people I work with and the TV shows I love, with a few drinking stories thrown in.
And in an effort to create buzz and draw a half million followers so I can sell some ads, I've created a promo which I guarantee is far more exciting than what it promotes -
Basement Jaxx - "Where's Your Head At?"
This is a kick-ass tune and was also sort of mental theme song for me when I was packing up and moving to the UK. Hence, it seemed fitting to become the title as well.
There. Blog started. Fuckin' hell, I'm wiped.
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